Frozen Yogurt Coupon Collecting Update

It didn't start out to be a very good summer in the frozen yogurt coupon department. For the first time in years, my supply got cut off....

In early June, a new Val-Pak arrived in my mailbox. I opened up the packet and leafed through the various assortment of coupons. To my sheer dismay, there was no coupon from "I Can't Believe It's Yogurt" included this time. It was a disheartening discovery.

That evening, I visited a good friend of mine who lives about five blocks away from me. I noticed an unopened Val-Pak sitting on her living room table. I complained that my Pak didn't contain (what I considered to be) the treasured frozen yogurt coupon. We proceeded to open hers, and the coupon was there! I assumed the distributors decided to reach a different zone of people in this latest mailing. Damn! Who makes these executive decisions, anyway?

My friend lives in a small, two-story building, so I knew there wouldn't be any additional Val-Paks lying around the vicinity. With this in mind, I begged my friend for her coupon: "Can I have it, please?" "No, I want it." I pressed on, "Oh, come on, please? Think of all the times I've brought you frozen yogurt over the years... And tell me you're going to go all the way to the store -- you won't go -- it's far from here." ("Far" in NYC can often mean outside of a three block radius from where you live.) Finally, she said, "All right, you can have it, you pest!"

A week or so later, I used my one precious coupon while visiting with a different friend. As we sat in the park eating our frozen yogurts, we both agreed they were SO GOOD. In a disgruntled tone, I mentioned my situation: for the first time in years, I was out of coupons, because the distributors put them in a different zone in the latest Val-Pak mailing. I said, "The next time the Val-Pak arrives, if the frozen yogurt coupon's in it, it's going to be no-holds-barred. I've got to get my hands on a supply of them -- summer's just not the same without them!"

I happened to be home when the next installment of Val-Paks arrived. I anxiously opened tit up, and discovered, yes -- the frozen yogurt coupon was included this time! I immediately checked the recycle bin, and found only one additional Pak. Hmm, the pickins' are seeming slim this time. After my six-week deprivation period, during the prime summer season, I was now very eager for a hefty supply. What to do? What to do?

I thought long and hard. I saw visions of pink, swirling cones before my eyes. They beckoned me, calling out, "Hey, Laura! We're over here... We're so sweet and delicious, so cool and frosty on a hot summer's day. You know you want us, and bad. So what gives, babe?"

Good question. But then... I was struck with an idea: Why not go straight to the source, the MAILMAN? I quickly went outside, looked down my block, and spotted the mailman's cart. I walked toward the cart, and found the mailman nearby. (I know my mailman from many years of living the same apartment.)

After exchanging a few pleasantries, I got down to the business at hand. "You know those Val-Paks you put in our mailboxes today? Well, do you think you might have any... extras?" He replied, "Oh, yeah, lots of them." I excitedly asked, "Do you think I could have them?" "Oh, sure," he said, "I'll knock on your door when I'm finished with my route, and give you the extras."

About an hour later, I heard a knock on my door. I think I know who that is! I opened my door, and there was the mailman, clutching a huge armload of Val-Paks. In a thoughts-of-frozen-yogurt-abundance daze, I exclaimed, "Oh, gee! There are so many, so many!" But before he handed them to me, he asked, "You still want these, don't you?" "Yes! I want them! I want them!" (It felt like Christmas in July.) I thanked the mailman profusely, said my good-byes, and then closed my door. I sat down, and counted my loot.

In one fell swoop, I became the proud owner of 38 frozen yogurt coupons, good for the next two months! The whole rest of my frozen yogurt-eating summer is saved! No more skimping or rationing coupons for me -- now I'm beyond all that. I'm set for good, because now I have an "in" with the mailman. Oh, how I love having friends in important places!